Cohesive devices
Start: to commence with, first of all, to begin with
Following: in the following
Addition of ideas: also, besides, in addition, moreover, furthermore
Ending: last but not least,
Reasons: due to , because of  because, since
Results: As a result, hence, as a consequence, therefore,
Examples: For example, for instance, such as , like
Contrast: However, nevertheless, yet, but, in contrast,
Summary: In summary, to sum up, to conclude, to summarize, in conclusion

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A recent article in the Young Post suggested that an 8:00 am start to the school day makes students feel tired and sleepy. Writer to the editor of the Young Post expressing your views on the following:

                –  why students feel tired; and
                –  whether or not a 9:00 am start will solve the problem

Some parts of the letter have been given to you   

[Introduction ]

Dear editor,

“Recently, an article in Young Post has discussed on whether starting school at 8 a.m. is too early for students [1].   With regard to this issue, I am writing to explain why students feel tired and whether postponing the school start time is the solution to this problem as a fellow student. [2]    Students are tried because of their workload, while a 9: 00 am start could effectively solve this problem [3]”

Check your introduction to see if you have included

            [1] Background +

            [2] Essay Scope

            [3] Stance

 

[Content]

Having a heavy workload has become a norm for Hong Kong students regardless of their level of study. The work of students is no longer limited to homework assigned by teachers at school, and students are tired because of the excessive workload [1]. Many of them now join a lot of extra-curricular activities and attend additional tutorial classes after school. This means that the majority of students nowadays arrive home late and have to work until night to finish their assignments, they also have to spend time on preparing for the lessons on the next day.[2] For instance, a typical Hong Kong student may have to go to tutorial class until night, and he still needs to complete the homework for the next day. [3] The excessive workload could prevent students from sleeping Without adequate sleep, students would be unable to focus well in lessons, especially those in the morning. Therefore, students will be tired due to the enormous workload [4]

 

Check your content to see if you have included

            [1] Topic sentence +

            [2] Elaboration [why]/ [what]/ [how]

            [3] Example

            [4] Concluding Sentence

[Conclusion]

In conclusion, as a student, I perfectly understand the feeling of crawling to school as exhausted as a zombie and falling asleep during lessons when I did not have enough sleep the previous night.The students are tired because they have too much work to do [1A] and the lessons are too difficult [1B]  It is clear that starting school later has a lot of benefits not only to the learning but also to the health of students. I would therefore strongly recommend schools to allow students to attend school an hour later.[2]

 

Check your conclusion to see if you have included

            [1] restatement of your arguments 重申論點
argument A

argument B

            [2] restatement of your stance  重申立場

 

Yours faithfully,

Chris Wong